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I never wanted to be gay. I realized that going to a bar meant too much pressure to connect with other lesbians, so inI gave online dating a shot and met a woman. And then I went to a gay women's group, and I said, how many of you have ever felt the same? Sarah Spelling, a former teacher, says she can well understand how "you can slide or slip or move into another identity". Coming out at 40 has been the most freeing thing I could do for myself, and my only regret is not having done it sooner.

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I realized that going to a bar meant too much pressure to connect with other lesbians, so inI gave online dating a shot and met a woman.

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Why it's never too late to be a lesbian

Next month at the American Psychological Association's annual convention in San Diego, a session entitled Sexual Fluidity and Late-Blooming Lesbians is due to showcase a range of research, including a study by Christan Moran, who decided to look at the lives of women who had experienced a same-sex attraction when they were over 30 and married to a man. When I was 23 and living in Los Angeles, I began working at a call center taking calls for a dental referral service. My mother has also let me know that should I ever marry, she will not be in attendance. From the start of the relationship, she felt completely at ease, although she didn't immediately define herself as a lesbian. New York seemed like the best place to do this. I was still living with Jeff, and I just started shutting down our relationship.

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You look and you think — that dress looks fabulous, or isn't she looking slim, or doesn't she look pretty. In my study, what I often found was that women who may have always thought that other women were beautiful and attractive would, at some point later in life, actually fall in love with a woman, and that experience vaulted those attractions from something minor to something hugely significant. The same rules applied: F or Carren Strock, the revelation came when she was I'm in love with this woman. They just wanted me to be happy. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.

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